Quattro Launches McMurphy's Fast Food Establishment
*** BREAKING NEWS***
You've heard of the Hard Hat Cafe - now Quattro launches 'McMurphy's'
In a bid to rival McDonalds, Quattro’s self-proclaimed ‘Best MD at Quattro for 33 years’ is to move full steam ahead with fast food plans for road, rail and construction workers all over the UK. The cafe, named 'McMurphy's' will have a specialist menu designed around the needs of hard hatters as they go about their day and fit in a much-needed stodge break.
'If at first an idea seems crazy, it's not a great idea!' Murphy was quoted as saying to gathered paparazzi in Stratford this morning. 'I've been mashing over this particular pie for a while now, and believe me when I say it's a tasty one!'
Industry publication Rail Infrastructure (The Butcher) leaked news of the new venture yesterday, which included details of a few of the dishes on the menu, including:
Sweepers pie
Fitter salad (healthy option)
Lever and onions
Low bed of lettuce
Dig in nachos
Mad Vaxauvonts
Komatsumosa
Not rubber duck
Bucket of chips
The JCB Jumbo Cumberland Banger
The full wacker plate
S&Cs Sausages and Cabbages
Doosandwich
FORS Gorgonzola
The RRV Ratatouille Roast Veg
Battered fitter patter pita
Welsh rail twit (only available in Wales)
Tartan soup (only available in Scotland)
Oppressed Pie (Irish background required)
'All drivers, operators, fitters and workers who hold the appropriate competencies and licences (includes dog/radio/fishing…) will be welcome in McMurphy's', said John Murphy, anticipating the first branch opening on 1st April. ‘The menu is all inclusive – we even cater for the carrot and lettuce brigade.’
At the end of the press conference Murphy was asked his thoughts on tasting the new menu to which he replied loudly:
‘I’M MUCKIN’ IT!’
WIN! Dinner for two at McMurphy’s. To enter, call John Murphy NOW quoting your favourite dish from the menu. There’s a lot to choo-choose from.
BOOK NOW! McMurphy’s booking hotline will be taking reservations all morning. Call 0845 900 2999 and QUOTE 'APeYFHULLzDEY' FOR DISCOUNT!
Further announcements are expected after midday today.
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